How to Work Anxiety into Your Whole Daily Routine
Getting ready for work. Examine any and all spots on your skin under a fluorescent light. They are definitely cancer. Poke at them and imagine some kind of terrifying biological process happening underneath. Think about your will.
Leaving the house. As you walk to your car, think about that article your mom had you read about serial killers. Is one watching you right now? Did they set a trap to pop your tires? As soon as you’re in the car, become certain that you left the burner on your stove on, even though you didn’t even use the stove this morning. Between that and your hair straightener, your house is sure to burn down today.
Drinking coffee. Wonder if you drank too much. Your heart is racing and you feel a little sweaty. What if you’re having a panic attack? A heart attack, even? Think about all your bad habits and what you would say to your mom if you had a heart attack in your twenties. How would you explain that?
Peeing. Ask yourself, “What if I’m dreaming right now? What if I’m totally laying in bed having a dream that I’m peeing but I’m actually peeing in bed?” Knock on things around you to assure yourself you’re awake.
Driving. At every intersection, picture an errant car missing a stop sign. Wonder what the driver that accidentally smashes into you was texting at that moment. Wonder what it feels like to crash at 30 mph.
Drinking. Wonder when the exact moment when your night will stop feeling so magnetic and you’ll have the sudden need to sleep. Worry that you won’t notice it and you’ll keep drinking and end up with a huge hangover. Think about people who are so drunk they slur and worry you’ll do that. Worry so much about getting a taxi at bar close that you leave 2 hours early.
